Dear Cydney,

I'm glad you asked this question. It is time that I put to rest the common misconceptions spouted by 'learned' men of 'science'. They would have you believe that colour is from the refraction, and the reflection of light. This is, of course, preposterous. An idiot can see that light is no more than a slave to the oppressive regime that we humans like to call the "universe", but more on that later.

Back in 1232 I did extensive studies into the reality and complexity of colour, but at the time all involved and in power would have surely misjudged the full gravity of all I had said, so I have left off talking about it until the more open minded people of today could accept it.

Even with the almost 14 centuries past since my studies (you may think it is closer to 8, but I assure you that that is just another gross misconception. I shall discuss this later), I am not entirely sure that the people of today will be able to accept the truth which I tell them about colour. For this purpose, I will use simple and straight forward metaphors to explain the basis behind my findings.

Imagine a colour, say, red, to be a greyhound at a track. Once the rabbit is released, all the animals leap forward in a vain attempt to capture a false bunny. You have heard a good tip on red, so you bet the last of your life savings. This tip turns out to be wrong. Red is a slow moving colour, and not in fact fast (another misconception). That is why stop lights are red.

So after you have lost all your money, you sink into a pit of deep depression, living from bottle to bottle, cheap hooker to cheap hooker. Some how you inexplicably become fat and lose your rugged good looks. You ponder this occasionally over just another bottle of whiskey. You don't have a problem. The world has a problem. A problem with you.

So you arm yourself to the teeth. this is to be your final stand. You've seen it on 100 rented movies in 100 situations. You've pinpointed where they go wrong. You aren't going to get it wrong. You have a 92(.365)% accuracy on time crisis, and hey... sometimes you can even manage it from the couch. You're geared up, and you're ready to go. This is it. The world won't take Bob Le Camembert for granted any longer. They're going to sit up and take note.

So after a 6 hours, 3 tanks, more cops, special forces, and national guards men than you can poke a stick at, You decide that you should stop playing Grand Theft Auto, just for a little bit. You look at a window, and see a tree. The leaves on the tree are green.

Green is a colour.

I hope that that answered your question.

-- Cheers, Dr. Bob (Doctorate not certified)