Dear ceramic.wolf (I smell children),

Now there are people in this world, sad sad misguided people, who would claim that you are the beneficiary of something called '56k training'. This is supposedly like severe weight training for nerds. The idea is that when you are at such a disadvantage due to a bad connection, you are forced to learn better skills, and to make every shot count. Playing on a broadband connection doesn't have this same handicap, and thus promotes bad habits, like waiting to see if the enemy will fire before shooting.

This theory is, of course, wrong. It makes the assumption that 'Counter Strike' is played only in a virtual world. THIS IS NOT THE CASE! Most games actually take part of your soul to play. If you have no soul, you cannot play a game properly. That's why only gay people and Asians can play Dance Dance Revolutions. The game is designed for people who can ignore their soul, and sense of rhythm, and musical taste, and dancing ability.

Now back to the issue at hand. People who play with broadband connections can throw most of their soul into the game. THIS IS BAD! People on dial up connections can only put in a small part of their soul, and only enough to have basic control. They cannot afford to put in their empathy or compassion, thus making them more efficient killers (and total loners). In addition to this, the fact that they are on a narrowband connection enrages the small part of the soul that they managed to get through, and makes them angrier. ANGER IS THE KEY TO COUNTER STRIKE.