Dear Cydney,

Yourself and myself are afflicted with a rare disease known as "Not being a stupid fuck". There are not many people who have this condition, so not much is yet known about it. Indeed, I'm the only person to have EVER researched the phenomenon.

I discovered it many years ago when I was researching snow giraffes in Alaska. I was feeding my research partner, George, to one of the ferocious beasts when I noticed the first signs of my condition. At first I was convinced that it was only a temporary condition possibly caused by the cold, but alas I was wrong. Even when I returned alone from the expedition, I noticed that I was generally cooler than everyone else around me. After 3 months I realise that it was not likely to go away on it's own, so I decided to study it.

So far I have compiled a small list of the symptoms of this disease. These include (but, of course, are not limited to):

• Being generally cooler than everyone you know.
• Doing cool things.
• Acting cool.
• Not being a complete and total arse holes who no-one likes.
• General coolness.

I did work for a while on a cure for this condition, but then in a moment of utter brilliance realised that none of the side effects were really that bad, and that in many ways they made me a more worship-able person.

My advice to you is to EMBRACE your coolness, and (like me) use it to become worshipped as a demigod.

I hope that that answered your question.

-- Dr. Bob (Doctorate not hypnotised)