Good evening, fine fellows, and soon to be loyal readers.

Many people may be wondering what it means when one says 'the science of music'. Do I intend to discuss only the particular frequencies and modulations produced in the guise of music, and handily measured on any standard oscilloscope? Will I be discussing the chemical disturbances created in the brain by sound waves which allow you to 'enjoy' particular styles of music, while not 'enjoying' others? Shall I be discussing the histories and origins of so called 'contemporary music'?

It is correct to wonder how I will be approaching the idea of discussing music scientifically, yet nigh impossible for people of your meagre intellect (Oh, don't worry. I'm not calling you stupid. Only stupider than me. Most of the world's populace has far less intelligence than me, however, so try not to let it concern you overly much) to guess, or even understand how I will be approaching the issue. The main issue here is that people have such confused preconceptions about the meanings of words such as "music" and "science". Some people may argue (futile to do so, I may add) that some of the explanations that I offer may not actually seem to be "scientific". This, of course, is incorrect.

I am a scientist. Everything I say is scientific. This is due to my immense amount training and study. Perhaps my only flaw (as I phased out most major flaws back in 1964, in the course of amalgamating my mind with the collective knowledge of bees. This is incredibly dangerous, and should not be attempted by anyone who has more flaws than myself. That is to say, that everyone, upon birth, is more flawed than I am, and continues to gather new flaws throughout life. Regardless, I digress.) is the fact that I am now so scientific that I am almost unable to say anything that does not have the deepest and most profound scientific connotations. Indeed, just in this much of this 'blog' so far, I have revealed the cures to 16 (now 17) medical anomalies. You will quite probably never realise this, as they are also protected by a cryptographic sequence more unbreakable than any use of a 'one use pad' may be. 18.

So be sure that when we next meet, I shall have much to discuss that, however mundane or unrelated it may seem, I assure you is most scientific. Good morrow, my fine readers.

24.

-- Dr. Roberto Le Camembert (Doctorate not mesmerised)