Dear Dr Bob,

Why do I rule so much more than anyone else? It would be a question that bothers me, but I'm too great to be bothered by anything.

Love, Captain Awesome.

Dear Captain Awesome,

Many times in my life have I come accross awesome people. You have, however, answered your own question before. I remember once having met you at a time when your awesomeness was only starting to grow (I think you were Seargent Awesome then). At that time, you were proclaiming that you had gathered and gained a small amount of facial hair.

This hair is pivitol to your awesomeness. Do not get me wrong, though. An increase in facial hair does not always mean an increase in awesomeness. Do not forget that this is considered 'facial hair'.

I find, as a rule of thumb, the more your facial hair looks like that from Ye Olde English times, the more awesome it is. Try these styles:

• Mutton Chops
• Walrus Mustache (Warning: This contains severe levels of authority)
• The crasy old guy beard

They are clearly the most awesome facial hair styles to exist. Ever. And I say this as a Doctor of science!

Soon enough, you will be more awesome than Joseph Stalin was that one time when he grew a mustache and invaded Arkansas.

I hope that helped.

-- Dr. Bob (Doctorate not electrolysised)